Countdown....not to 2006....but to sch reopening....oh damn how i wish holiday can be extended....but then...life has to go on....

Tml will be the last day of 2005...2005 has been a crazy year for me...so many things happened...mostly sad things...i call it a year of loss...i loss friendships, i loss trusts from my peers, i loss my position, i loss the gd impression others had on me, i loss the motivation to do well, i loss alot of things...and also, e saddest of all...i loss a family member...

However, i hav to look forward and continue wif my life...things do happen for a reason...i believe...perhaps they happened to allow me to learn...learn something that cannot be taught in the textbk...something that is invaluable...learn how to cherish what i hav now...

The end of 2005 brings me to another personal slogan: "Reflecting The Past, Anticipating The Future" I believe we shd reflect on what has happened this whole yr...pick up valuable learning points and then move on...anticipate challenges in the coming future...so that we can be better prepared against them...so that we can show our best...so that we can become a better person.

Once i stepped into 2006, it will be another personal slogan as mentioned in e previous entry: "A Brand New Year, A Brand New Me" I want to become a brand new person...i want to change for the better...hopefully i can be more accepting of others, more respectful to others and myself (yes, self respect is impt as if i dun respect myself, no one will respect me coz i dont DESERVE it), more humble and more engaging...these are the aspects i failed to achieve in the past...hopefully i can achieve this coming yr...however, i need the help of my friends...u guys...to help me achieve these...if you are my friend, keep on reminding me to take note of these aspects, alarm me and pull me back to the right track when i deviate, when i m displaying a bad attitude warn me directly just like e chinese idiom goes: dang tou bang he. Please do these to me to help me improve to become a better person. I thank all of you in advance.

With that, i wish all of you, a very happy and enriching new year.

Jingle Bell Jingle Bell Jingle Jingle All The Way..........

MERRY XMAS !!!!!! Woohooo.... yup yup...its xmas and here i m, at home doing HW....how pathetic...but its ok...wads impt is to feel the Xmas mood (i didn really feel it but its ok) Haha

Lotsa things happen in e past few weeks that i wont wanna elaborate...however...since today is xmas...shall wish everyone a merry xmas and a joyful wonderful new yr ahead...

Now i would refer u all to the wishlist...i m glad to announce i had received or achieved the following as "presents" --- Physics Alevel by Roger Muncaster, a new sling bag for outing and finally....A NEW HAIRSTYLE !!! Hahahaha....shd b very thankful for receiving these...from my family members (coz they financially can afford)...so...haha...

A new year is approaching...i hope and would really like to welcome it by embracing a new personal slogan--- "A Brand New Year, A Brand New Me"

Once again....MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YR !!!!!!

I m starting to worry bout my holiday hw...omg....left one whole chunk to be completed in less than 3 weeks....die la....here r the updates on my holiday HW:

Physics 100%
Chemistry 100%
Econs 0% (Haha...22/05, see ur econs rep oso so slack de...cant imagine rite)
GP 5% (for cutting out relavent freaking news article but dunno how to deal wif them)
Maths 80%

Went to watch Campus Superstar 3rd Audition at J8 yesterday....it was as crowded as 1st aud but at least all those who went up stage hav at least abit of talent n quality...well...they r e top 60 n thus there to b chosen as top 20....guys only got 24...pathetic...but most of them qi gu xiang dang la...stood there until backache n legache...haha....den saw alot of zhssrians la...most of them from NYJC n they were there to support their NY pple....haha.

2 Finales in a week...yup...mon was survivor guatemala finale n juz now was amazing race 8 finale...i am glad to see that the good pple win...yeah !!! Its rare to hav e perceived good characters/contestants win u noe...haha...esp when e villians played a more aggressive game n hav a higher chance of winning. Haha...well...nothin else to blog bout le...cya !!!

My goodness....wad a miracle i finally blogged !!! Hahaha....ya...havent been blogging for more than a week as though i m MIA. Ironically, this is holiday hence i shd hav more time for blogging but then...who cares...yes...i m busy...busy playing Maple...haha...i m quite a late starter n its like e maple craze was like dying off but its ok wif me...i m having fun...i hope u guys do also. Haha. There was so much to tok bout but i really dunno where shd i start from....hmmm...let me see....nothin much...hahahaha. Pengz. Ok la...at least that freaking SVA competition is over...so i will b officially an inactive CCA member from that day onwards. Then phys tuition started...lotsa hw...starting on simple harmonic motion which is kinda confusing at e start but i think i m starting to get it....wadeva...lol...holiday hw pace seems to slow down ALOT....omg...i really needa find time to complete them...still got alot !!!! hahaha !!!! Oh yah...julia flew back from china so pri sch clique of 5 can hav outing again !!! Wad else....hmmm.....nothin much though....next wk got 2 finales !!!! So excited...tml which is monday got Survivor Guatemala Finale...will b watching it b4 going tuition at 7....then wed got amazing race finale...woah....great week ahead...plus more mapling more fun !!!! Wheeee....seems like i m zi-high-ing but its alright....juz a little update on myself for e past 2 weeks....wif that...cya !!!!!

Argh !!!! I juz cant understand Keynesian theory.....i've been listening attentatively during lectures n i tried to read the lecture notes but still....i catch no balls....haiz....liddat how to do Keynesian Theory essay questions???? At this point in time, i m asking myself a question that i shdnt have asked...why am i taking economics ??? Perhaps i juz take it as a 4th subject after maths phys n chem...perhaps i hav no confidence in continuing taking bio or fmaths...perhaps bcoz its said that PCME is e best and most useful combination...seriously speaking i dun think i m gonna do anything to do wif economics when i get into uni...if i have a choice...furthermore for e past one whole yr i m only treating econs as a secondary subject and doesnt really give it the full attention i gav to e other 3 subj...apart from GP....oh well...i shd considered myself fortunate to at least get decent grade for econs despite e lack of attention given to it...well well...perhaps i m juz like most teenagers...that is...to follow the trend and follow the pathway that most pple choose to walk and oso, confirmed safe to walk...i dun really like to take risk and try something fascinating...i like to play it safe...is this stagnenting my internal and character growth ? Wadeva....argh...lets hope i can quickly get thru these econs hw....i m so freaking sian

Yoz yoz all....sian...holiday is getting sianner day by day....no one wants to go out wif me :(

Pple either go to work or they hav their own grp of friends to go out wif....i m sad n lonely at home. Haiz....well, firstly, i dun hav a rather tight grp of friends or stuff...other than pri sch clique of 5 which i think they will oso b tired of me. I used to b very close to this grp of friends from my sec 2 class...but then after we got to sec 3, sec 4 n then to different schools, these grp of friends got their own clique n stuff...haiz....sec 3 sec 4 i dun really hav any very close grp of friends... maybe bcoz i m too busy mugging or maybe bcoz i dun share any common interest wif e rest of my classmates....in e end who suffer...me!!! Haiz...jc...i tried to change n b more sociable but then it things doesnt seem to change alot....well well...perhaps i m born a loner....

Perhaps i shd get myself a job...i was thinking of giving tuition but i dun think i qualify. Haha...maybe next yr after graudating from AJ. Dont think i m suited for jobs like counter or cashier or waiter or stuff....even my mum ask me to giv tuition to earn some pocketmoney during e holiday...haha...wad else can i be....perhaps nerds like me is only suited to b in e education career....

Talking bout career i think my future seems very dark...i dunno wad i wanna b....i plan to study chem engineering n be a chem engineer....but those big companies will only employ u if u r really very gd...meaning average chem engineering students wont get a job easily....i dun think i wanna study accounts or econs or commerce or business so i m ruling out office jobs....i dream of working in e entertainment circles perhaps as a radio broadcaster or a script writer or song writer but then...who would wanna employ me....haha....so e last remaining choice will b teaching...haha.

I think i m gonna learn a musical instrument...perhaps next yr after graduating n waiting for NS.... possible instruments are guitar, chinese flute (di zi or xiao) or even perhaps guzheng...haha...dunno leh....musically decline pple like me will hav trouble learning musical instruments but then i really impress me alot to see my peers handling n playing these instruments so well. Furthermore i so old le then pick up an instrument...very malu leh. Haiz...guess i m really stupid not to master any musical instruments.

Lotsa things i wanna do during e holiday...so pple...jio me out for outings or movie or wadsoeva...haha...i m stoning at home....i wanna go kbox....my only interest....i wanna go watch chicken little....i wanna go take photos at places like esplanade or siloso beach wif my very gd friends....i wanna go play badminton.....i wanna go christmas shopping....so many so many....sian argh !!!! Left econs hw, GP hw and maths compilation of qns haven finish....dont feel like doing leh....wad else can i tok bout??? My finger nails ? Yah...its very long liao....as long as mei chao feng's...haha...can practice jiu yin bai gu zhua alreadi....if u noe wad i m toking.....if dunno...watch condor heros...hahaha....ok lor...enuff crapping.....cya !!! nitez

Ohaiyo !!! Zao an !!! Juz came back from running session wif QY. Met at YCK MRT at 7.30 then went for our rounds in the stadium....all i can say is...after months of not exercising....i really weakened alot....can tell when i m running la...anyway...ran 6 rounds in total plus 2 rounds broadwalk...well...i noe its very minimum....too little but i guess its a gd way of starting n perhaps can increase e intensity during future sessions....ya....n coz i didn hav breakfast...after exercising feel like vomiting....e last time i felt that is during 1st 3 months PE. Hahaha....so moral of e story is...always hav breakfast. :P Anyway....i seriously needa keep fit n exercise more....if not history will repeat itself...hahaha....wif dat...cya !!! Me waiting for breakfast :P

Yoz yoz yoz.....me back again for some action....i mean blogging!!! Hahaha...Oh yea, anyway, had badminton-cum-bowling session wif pri sch clique of 5 today...well....not 5 of us but 4 coz julia went overseas. First thing i woke up in e morning at 7.30, i looked out of e window....oh no !!! Its raining !!! Cannot play badminton in e open space :(

So e first person to msg me is mk...i told her i will consult e rest's opinion...then FPE msged me...then i decide to change the venue to the multipurpose hall next to my flat...hahaha....so at bout 8+ 9 i stepped out of my hse den e door of e lift open...wa...chua4 dio (kana scared)...mk was inside e lift...hahaha...den i ask her why she go take e lift she say she came early nothin to do then take lift shuang to 23rd floor then take down....duh....

So e 2 of us proceed to e multipurpose hall to play badminton...thankgoodness its empty. SYY was still sleeping n FPE is on his way...well...the gd thing bout playing badminton in e hall is that we r not bothered by e rain outside...but the bad thing is....we cant hit our ball high....if not it will hit e ceiling n drop down...worse still....bcoz many pple play badminton there previously, plus us then...the ceiling alot of holes !!! Lol !!! I really scared got pple come n catch or e ceiling planks will fall down. Haha. Ok...so after 20min of game FPE came...den we rotate lor...2 against 1....so we played till bout 11 then our VIP - SYY came...sooo early...haha...so its then e yellow shirts vs the whites....i m wearing white so is MK...ya...so hit hit hit...kill kill kill...smack smack smack...pespire alot...wadeva....haha

At approx 11.45 we walked to NYP to hav lunch. Yea...coz its near, convenient and most importanly CHEAP !!! Hahaha...so we went Food junction hav lunch there....i had chicken rice....e auntie nv giv me chicken breast meat instead giv me e back meat....haiz....yalor...i very picky when it comes to food one. :P But anyway, after a value for money lunch, we cross over to grassroot club to play bowling....well...after so long nv bowl...i can really say i SUX at bowling big time...hahaha....always kana longkang...walau...so demoralizing. After bowling we went to play e mini-arcade juz outside cathey bowl....i was hooked onto this car racing game n thruout e journey i was like splirting out vulgarities coz e infront car kept making me langga. Hahahaha.....

Anyway...after all these mk has to return back to sch for some class stuff...so me, FPE n SYY took a bus to our original badminton location aka e open space badminton court next to blk 571 to play another round of badminton...coz e sun is finally shining n we dunwan to waste this opportunity...so there goes another round of badminton n stuff n we played till 4+ 5 when we went home. Got home at 5+, bathed den listen to radio....ok lor...dats basically e day....meaningful n i finally got some "exercise". Tml going jogging wif QY at YCK....hope it wont rain like today....ok...dats all ba....later got survivor....haha....hmmm....nothin else le....cya !!!

COLDDDDDDDD !!!!!!! Oh man....this kinda weather....i shd b hibernating as mentioned in e previous post. But then yes here i m to rant bout wad happened hours ago....went to sch for class SL discussion at 9...i think i saw mr ong on e bus....i m not sure if its him....anyway...i m refering to that tall tall chem teacher in zhss who taught me in sec 2 n sec 3 fullstop. Anyway, discussion was boring...hmmm....i shall not informed u guys about that. So after discussion, i as e econs rep is suppose to get done wif e groupings for econs assignment but then...they let me settle e grping instead of giving them a choice to choose wadsoeva. So ya...it was raining la n suddenly some of us decide to play badminton....so its jinghang n minli vs thad n choonyuan wadsoeva....den weihui joined, i oso joined n stuff....well...suddenly feel like playing badminton....shall jio my pri sch clique of 5 again....anyway...if any of u 5 r reading this entry, don't forget our bowling session this fri ok...haha. So after badminton mdm woon want us to help transport some piles of waste papers n files to e staff room n we had fun doing so using e wheelchair....erm...i mean chairs wif wheels...those in e com lab. Haha. So yes...a few minutes of fun that is. After that some went ikea some went home...i oso went home but da baoed lunch in e way....den i think got accident or wad happened at amk bus int den e whole road congested...."sadly" i m not e victim....so readers dun feel disapointed...haha...den liddat lor...juz now wanna bathe realize towel not yet dry...now drying it wif e fan...this kinda weather sux la....freakin cold....and y i m like writing every single minute detail in this entry....basically to prevent my brain from freezing in this cold weather...now finish entry le....i think i shd go hibernate....if things goes rite i shd b going running wif QY tml n thur...hope weather would b fine n for once giv me HOT SCROCHING SUN....haha....wif dat...cya !!!!

Gd morning........

....e weather damn cold.....

....and the sky is not raining still......

.....dark clouds + cold weather......

......wad a way to start the day.....

......feel like hibernating.......

...................Sianzzzzz

Suddenly i feel like going swimming. I've not been swimming ever since P6. Well, dunno y but last night i dreamt of myself staying in a 1st storey condo wif e swimming pool juz outside my window / backyard wadeva. Dunno...i wanna get myself tanned by next yr. I wanna look healthy rather than a bai zhan ji (white boiled chicken)...but then....firstly...i threw my swim suit long ago...2nd i dunno who to ask to go wif me, not my family definitely...3rdly, i wonder if i still rmb how to swim...4th, i m concern bout how i look...nvm...lets see...anyone free wanna go swimming wif me??? Hahaha...

Some photos taken during campus superstar audition juz now...in compliment wif e previous blog entry :)

Sin Huay on stage singing and entertaining e audience.

Junyang walking past me....*sCreAm*

We were only 1m apart...hahah

Junyang & Sugi interviewing e YCK SS Twins
Kelly, Derrick(centre) & William(blue) on stage entertaining us...its very small i muz admit

Well...if u notice (u shd hav)...i changed my blog skin. Lol. Haha...after using e old lightning one for like 2 yrs...i decide to change. Well...dun ask me why i change it today but i juz feel like doing so. Hehe.

Anyway...e MAIN stuff: I WENT CAMPUS SUPERSTAR AUDITION TODAY !!!!! Ok, i m not there to participate but to see. Yah...thanks alot ot Meikuan who accompanied, really thanks alot if u see this. Anyway, both of us met at AMK MRT station at 11.30 and reached there bout 12. Well, we initially took the wrong entrace by taking e escalator at the new extension...so we hav to walk all the way down again n come up from the other side...e main gate that is.

Anyway, when we reached there, it was quite pack. We managed to make it to the middle front of the crowd after much squeezing and stuff. Thankgoodness we didn get K-ed by other viewers. Well, the contestants....one idiom to describe - Liang2 You3 Bu4 Qi2. There were good ones n there were bad ones....there were more girls than boys and most of them are secondary school students. Most of them rite...are those average singers la...then cannot get thru...i think their voice not mature enough lor....ya...like pri sch girls singing. However some were fantastic. There was this RJ girl who sang quite well n got in...well...i expect her to get in coz she got like some connection wif e mediacorp pple...like ren shi one u noe...so e judge will giv way abit la.

Anyway, e judges are Jeff wang, chong qing, jamie teo n peifen i guess....weird choices of judges but nvm. For the first half of the audition they were quite lenient...but after e short break they start to bcom very strict lor. Alot of can sings de all kana "tehhed" out (teh = sound made by buzzer). Oh yah....half way thru e audition guess who came up stage...SIN HUAY !!!!

She came up stage to entertain us abit. Then came Kelly !!! Junyang !!! William, sugi n Derrick. Wow....thats cool. Me took alot of photos wif my handphone but i think e pictures sux la...my hp cannot zoom...then everything taken so small :( Shd hav brought a digi cam. I called jas then to found out that shes somewhere in e crowd too...but cant find her coz too many pple...and we were quite front though...next to e contestant queue...then there alot of mediacorp pple walking around n we can oso see whos in e queue waiting to go up e "slaughtering stage" la. Haha.

Then suddenly everyone cheered. Me n MK were like...wad happened. Oh...its junyang walking along that contestant queue path. No wonder...then everyone like bochap whos on stage la n start taking photos of junyang. Well...i oso took photos of him wif my not-so-gd hp cam. I quite a few photos of him esp when he is interviewing a pair of twins from YCKSS who sang damn well n got thru...and i was then like only ONE METER away from him !!!! Wow....gd experience...readers out there....r u jealous?? Hehe...and i hav to agree wif Yiqin...his complexion damn gd. Oso we smiled at me twice. Well...we oso waved to kelly n derrick n both of them wave back so yah. Haha...i wasnt that crazy a fan but i juz do so for fun.

Anyway...guess who we spotted in e queue...SOOK LEE !!!! OMG !!! We were surprise n we called out to her. She greeted us with a smile. Guess shes nervous. Then i rmb YY told me that they r not going to see audition...well...they didn know shuli is taking part...so no one to support her except me n MK. But ya...she sang very well wad...she sang Jay's Wa Jie...but sadly e judges dunno how to appreciate then teh her out. Anyway, after standing there for hours our legs started to ache...and my back ache oso...haiz...its like in e middle of e crowd n its so stuffy la...almost wanna suffoscate. Oso there was this stupid tall balding uncle standing infront of us for quite some time who keep waving n stretching his hands n we name him "dat balding tree". Walau he was like blocking e view la...so tall alreadi still wanna wave...then we realize this 50+ uncle is actually waving to junyang....stunned...very irritating but we managed to squeezed infront of him after a while. Oso got this spastic guy keep waving like a sissie n stuff...haiz...

We stood there till 3.30pm when we decide to go lunch. So both of us go Pastamania hav lunch...i ordered spicy chicken linguinie while MK had mediterranian. Wadeva. After lunch we went walking around b4 going back to see audition again. Well..the pack is still there but we decide to stay behind this time where its more airy. Then came my juniors !!!! Woohoo...ZHSS RAWKS !!! Sadly only ONE made it thru n its a guy. Cool...ZHONGHUA RAWKS !!!!!! I saw Anthony from 2505 among the crowd. Wasnt very close to him so didn tok much. Haha. We stood there for another one hour n stuff then until e 5 superstars came up stage n request e audience to shout something to b recorded down n stuff...at that moment...all e cameras went up n hence me n mk siammed off e venue...well...i guess i was filmed quite a few times by e camera man coz i was standing rather infront during e first half....hope they dun show me...i dun look gd in TV.

After siamming i went down to basement to da bao shi lin fried chicken then MK went home coz she not taking same bus as me...after da baoing i oso went home. Well...today is really a fruitful trip n i really kinda enjoy e audition. Its like getting addicted lor n u dun feel like moving away but continue watching despite how lousy some of e contestants r. I dun regret going.

Anyway...here r some schools who hav damn lotsa students participating until e crowd is so damn tired of them...no offence: Yusoff Ishak Sec, St Nick, CHIJ TPY, Broadrick, Xinmin, CCK Sec, YCK Sec, etc. And some songs that r sang so frequent that we feel like vommiting: Cyndi's Dang Ni, Angela Zhang's Yi shi De Mei Hao, JJ's Yi Qian Nian Yi Hou & Hui You Na Me Yi Tian, Junyang's Guardian Angel, etc. So thats all folks....i added some photos but i wonder if they will come out...i will try to upload e rest...wif that...ciaos !!! Bye !!!

Well well...receive news from jolene n ms tay that our grp's WR diskette is corrupted and we need to hand in another diskette. Jolene ask if any of us r free on mon to hand up another disk. Anyway, bcoz i was rather free juz now in e afternoon, i walked to sch to hand up an extra disk. Ms Tay wasnt around so she ask me to hand it in to Mr Yap. Strangely, Mr Yap ask me to put it in his peigon hole which i dun feel safe bout it but who cares anyway. Ok, so that saves e rest of e team of e trouble to return to sch next wk to hand in another diskette unless this one i submitted is oso corrupted. Touchwood.

Juz watched Survivor. Well...it has been a long time ever since i started blogging bout my interest bout this show coz if u refer to past entries last yr....can tell i m really a crazy fan of this show. Anyway, i simply luv today's challenge. I think its fun. Well, juz to describe abit bout e challenge, it involves e players to be hook on to a big ring which runs along the rope. So the long rope is kinda winded , tied, tangle up, wadeva across some wooden constructions so players have to like run thru e rope to e other side la. This involves e players to climb up and down, get under and across which is kinda tiring but fun. Then for e final round where 4 were left, they hav to compete in a 3 storey wooden construction. Wow...imagine tossing, hanging and climbing up n down the 3 storey wooden construction to run along the rope, its gonna b damn tiring. Weak pple like me who even hav problem wif pull ups....i guess i can juz die. Haha. But i think its fun..hope i can try it. Well....if u think my description is not gd enuff...can go www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor11 to see e video clip on e challenge. Haha.

Ok lor...dats all for today. Saiyonara....ciaos.....goodbye

Yesterday went class gathering at Chin Guan's hse...well...suppose to b discussing SL but in the end...we didnt. Hahaha. Met some of my classmates at Sembawang MRT at 4...then e girls go over first while me n thad wait for e guys. In e end only junfan came so e 3 of us go buy sparkling juice as suggested by thad then go Chin Guan's hse. Well...my first time there...so i dunno wad to say. The girls were inside e kitchen cooking dinner, at that moment i m rather skeptical bout e quality but i guess i m too paranoid. Went inside Chin Guan's room where e rest r inside. Chin Guan's sis started attacking thad...well i guess she seems rather feministic coz i think she dun like guys...esp thad. Hahaha. So juz slacked around until 7 when we all gav Lucia a birthday surprise. Oh yah...i oso learnt abit of guitar from thad n peijia but i guess musically decline pple like me find it really hard to master. Nevertheless, i managed to play abit...only abit...of e qing tian intro part which i think its rather a failure coz its supposed to b e easiest song to learn while playing e guitar. Anyway...dinner time...just in time Chin Guan returned from choir. The food was ok n e amount was right this time. Then e girls kana splitted into 2 clans...e pro wang zi bian qing wa and e anti...e pro one watches it while e anti one tried to gather at another side of e hse n try not to watch it stuff like that...wadeva. So continue slacking until 9+ then we hav a class toast....i mean yum seng which i think is rather loud n i hope Chin Guan's neighbours dun mind. Haha. All right, everyone was there except eh....Choon yuan, nicholas n yihua who left earlier. So after class toast den i went home. Managed to reached home by 10 and dats all for e day. Hahaha. Ok..tml going watch superstar audition wif jas they all....hope its a success. Oso stupid SVA dunno when can finish but nvm....now i plan to take e backseat n let them lead themselves coz i shdn get over concerned wif it. I mean though i m in charge but if i get over concern den i will turn nasty or bossy or wadeva u guys can describe me. Burmer....juz now emailed mdm woon asking bout econs hw on behalf of e class...hope she reply. Ok lor...dats all...cya !!!

Siannnn........there is so much things i wanna do during e school holiday....

I want to go night hike !!!

I want to go kpool n kbox wif "2e5 kbox kakis" and e newly found "e2-e3 hcl class luv kbox members" and oso not forgetting wif sis 3 during 4E2 chalet !!!!

I want to go 4E2 chalet !!!

I want to go bowling session wif my pri sch clique of 5 !!!

I want to finish all my holiday hw by nov so that i can hav my dec to play !!!

I want to go running and exercise at least twice or trice weekly to build up on my fitness level !!!

I want to forget about all e unhappy past thruout my school life in 2005 !!!

I want to adopt and embrace a new positive learning attitude for next yr!!!

I want to go xmas shopping wif my friends !!!

I want to organize or have an outing for 2e5 pple coz this yr no more 2e5 chalet !!!

I want to have more outings wif current 2205 pple, 4e2 and 2e5 friends as well as pri sch clique of 5

I want to meet up wif old friends whom i've not seen for yrs, e.g. those for DQPS P6/1 2000

I want to travel around e island tasting all the delicious and famous hawker food around Singapore

Of coz e list is not exhaustive....well....there r really many things i want to do during e holidays n most of them cant b made possible if u guys (my friends out there) dont wish to "help me". Haha..so lets b "helpful" and lets enjoy a wonder holiday ahead !!!

Weeeeee.....so siannnn......haha. Yesterday class chalet....i went there at about 7+ after having family dinner at Tampines Mall....anyway...when i reached class chalet, they juz started bbqing la...then very sian coz nothing to do...so juz stone there until 10 then go home lor. Haha. Well, i got many alternatives, i can take feedle bus to Tampines then take 22, or i can take MRT...eventually, i took bus 88 at e pasir ris bus interchange la...well...the journey home took bout 45min....den something happened to m in e bus that makes me very angry. When the bus turned into AMK Ave 10 where i will b alighting 2 stops later, this fat uncle sitting behind me sneeze right into my neck la...walau...so disgusting !!!! Eeeeeee !!!! Coz he quite big size i dare not turn behind n diao him....he rub his nose vigourously den i dunno in e process still got mucus or wad anot la...but ya...i was damn pissed...so rude rite...at least wanna sneeze sneeze somewhere else la...nv cover mouth somemore....yucks....then juz nice i alight liao quickly take feedle bus 265 home n quickly bathe. Haiz....that night i got nightmare...dunno izzit bcoz of that incident. Haha.

Anyway, juz now got someone called me n ask if i m e only zhss guy in 2205. I replied no n say still got zhihao. Then i was like...who is he huh...den he started some kinda small chat wif me like "so wad u doing now" so i juz reply him friendly lor since i think he is my friend...but i forgot to ask him who he is...hahaha....doesnt sounds like someone i know in aj..... dunno...haha...anyway...if u r e guy reading this n asked me if i m e only zhss guy in 2205 juz now at bout 4+ , kindly tell me who u r coz i forgot to ask who u r. Hahaha...cant recoginize ur voice either. So ya. Tml got CDP. Sian....its a time for councilors n heads to show their leadership skills n for e rest to show their "followership" skills....haiz...hav to wake up early tml....sian.....

Sianzzzz......juz now went back sch at 10+ for alpha list....ya...attended 2 courses straight in e row. The first one was rather interesting, on communication skills....we learnt how to use body language n stuff n most importantly, read other pple's body language n read their mind...something like psychology...hehe....so next time dun lie to me ok...coz i may find out easily that u r lying. Hehe....The 2nd one on conflict management was terrible....haiz.....e conductor of e course juz cant get everyone's attention la n his course is juz boring....didn learn much from e 2nd course though....and basically no one pay attention to him except for e table of 10/05 girls behind me (yes, i recognize them from 10/05 coz of peijia's mini-me...haha). Ok lor...dats it....nothing much....sian....haha

It has been a long time ever since i blogged. I realized my frequency of blogging has decreased alot...well...perhaps its because there is nothing in my life to blog about...my life is boring...you would not envy my life...haha

Ok, so wad hav i done for e past 9 days??? Nothing much...first n formost...PW is over...well...it has been a few days ever since i had my OP exam and PW is officially over hence the sense of excitment and happiness has already dispersed....so yes...do not wish to elaborate on OP...well...basically e assessors asked everyone very difficult qns n dats it...whether we survive or not is now up to them. Anyway, went PS that day after OP wif AJ 105 and AJ 106 (my grp)...basically 10 of us attended some kinda "celebration"...not much to elaborate...and its my first outing wif my classmates ever since sch starts....so i guess u can conclude that i am very antisocial.

Yesterday, i tried cooking mee goreng wif e chilli sauce bought by my mother at NTUC...well...dunno y suddenly feel like eating mee goreng....and yes...now u guys hav discovered another of my talent...well...its more of a interest that a talent...that is cooking !!! I luv cooking ever since i m young...like age of 5?? Haha...yesterday's mee goreng didn turn out too bad afterall...but i think its abit wet....hmmm....e fact is i didn even add water n i juz feel its too wet....perhaps i can improve on that next time. Hehe...

Recently i realized that the bus service i used to take when going home has become partially airconditioned. Well, it all happened one month ago when i was as usual waiting for my bus (265) outside jubilee expecting the usual aircon bus to arrive when surprising an old unairconditioned bus greeted me. I hav to say that i've not seen or taken such an old bus for years (except for the time i took this feedle service transporting me from pasir ris bus int to downtown)...and yes...i tot this kinda bus alreadi scraped off le. So while sitting in e bus on my way home..it kinda brings back some childhood memories when i used to take this kinda unairconed bus from my old house at AMK st 54 to AMK central....yes...those r e wonderful memories....but i dunno whether to complain bout my 265 service, which i've taken for e past 17 yrs, has no aircon or wad....hehe

Anyway...its damn dark outside now. Weeee....rainy day. Juz now 3+ i went out to da bao lunch...well...the sky wasnt that dark yet n i wont expect it to rain so soon....but after stepping out of where i dabaoed lunch to my shock the entire place is so damn dark and i was like...oh plz dun rain b4 i reach home....and there i fastened my walking pace and the wind started to blow like its gonna rain anytime....thankgoodness i managed to reach home dry....not only me dry but my food dry...haha....den when i stepped out of my lift i started raining....wa...heng arh...

Was suppose to hav my clique outing today....which clique....my pri sch clique lor....ya...e 5 of us...friendship still strong as ever....dats y i say old friends r still e best friends.....coz we know each other very well....hehe....anyway, i digress....suppose to hav bowling session today but then last min julia msged me last nite say she got NE exucrsion today kinda stuff....hmmm....den yiyang not free...haiz....den its meaningless for e 3 of us to proceed on anyway....but ya....bowling sessions is still a must...hope it will b soon....if not muz wait until julia come back from china. Haha...sian

Looking forward to this sunday's class chalet....well...its only one night but i m not staying overnight anyway....lets hope its fun....2205 very enthu de wor. Haha...well...for some of my classmates it would b e first time they r having chalet together wif e opposite gender....i wonder wad e scene will b like....coz from my past 4 yrs experience of having chalet wif a class of boys n girls....e boys will always stay infront of e tv playing ps or xbox while girls go out n walk walk....lets see if this common scene will reappear this sunday. haha.

Tml got alpha list course...sian...2 courses at a time....thankgoodness i signed up early then i got the most convenient slot of having both on e same day....n oso e waiting time between each course e shortest....hahahah....save me alot of time....well....alpha list population increasing like nobody's business....izzit bcoz students nowadays r getting smarter n smarter or alpha list management cant b bothered to practice quality control...wadeva it is....its still a priviledge so lets appreciate wad e teachers hav planned for us.....as for now....its back to my usual hobby during hols again --- STONING !!!

JAY CHOU NEW ALBUM ROXXXXXX !!!!!!! Oh my goodness it is so damn nice la, better than qi li xiang or ye hui mei i guess. After listening thru his songs. Yup, i muz mention again I GOT JAY CHOU GIANT POSTER !!! And got 3 MV including Ye Qu , Fa Ru Xue n another one i forget liao. haha. Anyway, after listening thru e whole album i really fell in luv wif it lor. Other albums i listen one two times alreadi sian liao. This one i listen 10 times oso not sian. Inside alot of songs very nice, is that kinda songs that i like la. For example track 3 i mentioned earlier - Fa Ru Xue (Hair like snow)...its very chinese classical lor....very nice...reminds me of dong feng po n nan quan mama's mu dan jiang. Damn nice. I also like track 6 , very soothing ballard, track 7, which sounds to me abit like jian dan ai + Yuan you hui....very simple ballard...simple yet nice. The duet wif lara of nan quan mama oso very nice. Coral Sea. Wow....so nice !!!! I juz cant stop saying how nice it is la. Serious u guys out there muz buy this album n listen to every single song. NICE !!!!!

Hihi !!! Happy deevapali !!! Juz came back from Kbox n Kpool session wif some of my friends from sec 2. Met Ruqing at AMK MRT at 10+....the rest either sick or cannot make it....so we took a train to Orchard, went taka mac to wait for Siying. The 3 of us walked to cineleisure where we decide to play pool first without waiting for e rest. Went to kpool at level 8....inside no pple...haha...we r e first customer wor !!! Well, long time nv play pool my skills deteriorate alot sia....cant even hit in most of e balls...hehe....after playing for an hour Shengchao joint us....by that time i alreadi warmed up le so played at least abit better, but then my skills still sux la...haha...

Checked out at 1+....went to Sembawang CD store at cine level 4 where i bought Jay Chou new album November's Chopin. Havent listen yet but juz now during kpool they got play his new songs...so i guess shd b quite nice. Furthermore today publish de wor. Hehe...oh yah...they gav me free Jay Chou poster !!!! Omg...so nice !!! I tot only those preorder de den got free poster but since they giv me i oso dun bother to ask them. Hehe...jian hao jiu shou. Cant wait to listen to his new album, after finish this entry i will go listen le.

Had lunch at Long John. We talked bout alot of stuff. Like promos n stuff. Hongjin joint us when we finish lunch at bout 2. So we went kbox. Siying hav to leave us coz she got family dinner at 4 i guess. Anyway, talking bout kbox make me angry. Walau, they say coz today public holiday, so no kstudent, charge higher price. Furthermore its only 3h instead of 5 la...walau...price discrimination sia. No, i m not gonna write another essay on how Kbox discriminate by charging higher price during public hols. But if i were to, i can. Hehe...econs rox yea? But we still stupidly went forward for kbox. Erm....not much to elaborate during kbox session other than some our room is juz outside e counter hence cannot overrun too much. And that stupid kbox guy...walau...peep in when we r singing our finale song "Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me" and literally SHAKE off...so disgusting. Yucks. I vow i m not going to cine kbox again. Haha.

After kbox surpose to hav dinner wif huining but we cant contact her. We decide to perhaps play another round of pool again but when we got up to kpool, its full house la. Sad. So we decide to head towards taka. Shengchao den pangseh us. Ruqing only had 1.50 left. Well, liddat then dun hav dinner lor. Hehe....took MRT home den my parents go out da bao dinner lor. Hehe. Ok la, go listen to jay chou new album le. Hehe. Sure very nice one. Other than ye qu , track 3 which is fa ru xue (hair like snow) oso very nice. haha. Tml got OP rehersal 4. I dunno still got voice anot, coz today sing until no voice liao. Anyway, after PW still got long time for me to enjoy. So wif dat...cya !!!!

Today's NE day obviously sux lar. Arrived at the designated classroom for NE quiz n discussion sorta stuff in the morning. Boring. Den go audi see some SAF talk....ok, really reminded me that my time left b4 entering NS is very very short !!! Pathetic. Then we hav 1.5 hour lunch break....i didn hav lunch e rest of e guys had...so everyone spent the next 1 hr chilling out in class la. 1pm all gathered at e parade square for excursion. At first i tot its gonna b fun but then after seeing the tour guide, i sian jik pua (sian half)...den after hearing the place we r visiting...i sian even another jik pua...meaning i totally sianned 3/4. Haha....lame....n yes we visited padang where i was excited bout seeing ou de yang....as if....n we go labador park...which i visited juz last sunday? Haha....den we go to this PA museum near NUS where i tot it shd b at kallang where e PA hq is....its boring la...n we take class photos there....yar....den we went to visit some temples at race course road which by then everyone sian 99% liao....oh yah....coz our class is spliited so 4 guys including me were wif e girls....we shared e same bus wif another class whom i feel they didn behave well la....esp e boys....is like in the temples rite...dun think they respect e place alot or wad den when e PA incharge is briefing us some of them were like bochap n very restless...i mean...plz show some respect lor. They really remind me of some normal tech boys lor....haiz...shall stop complaining b4 they come look for me for trouble in school...haha....ok...wif dat...cya !!!

Hello guys!!! Yes, after 10 days as yiqin counted, i blogged !!! No big deal. Lotsa things happen duirng e past 10 days but i cant b bothered to update...nvm....currently everyone is in PW mode la...i mean...walau...everyday PW...will go crazy one lor. N i m crazy enuff...so PW aggrevated my craze. Anyway, had OP 1st rehersal today. Well, i juz sux. First to present, i spoke too fast. But thats me, i always speak very fast de. Den i feel like i m debating more than i m presenting la...but wads e diff to me...haha...den someone pointed out that i slanged...dats e first time i know i slang...haha....but nvm...muz gai guo...if not i will sure die like shit during e actual day. Basically i hav alot to present la...and hence i m rushing for time...yup....Oh yah...everyone bombarded thaddeus' group during their turn...i mean during Q&A session, everyone bombarded them wif lotsa qns regarding their presentation. Sorry guys, no offence, but we think u guys r gd enuff for our qns hence we ask.

Days ago i went to applied for S paper....i think i will not get S paper la, but who knows heaven n AJ decides to b kind on me. Other sch 3 Cs can take le...AJ still muz get A...7A1 during Os and B4 for Gp wadsoeva...but still, after consulting like more than 10 pple, i decide to go appeal for it....applied for Phys S paper....yup....again...gd luck to me....:)

Organising 2E5 outing this deevapali....erm...y dat day? dunno...coz no one got sch. Haha....ok la, not a 2e5 outing, juz ask some closer 2e5 friends out for Kpool n Kbox session....and talking bout Kpool n Kbox....being addicted...i m really desperate to engage in these activities la...haha....Cant wait...there r still like 7 days more to go? Today is tue rite...so ya lor, next tue.....heheh.......to my niece n grandnieces of 2e5 reading this...Dun pangseh ur great grand uncle hor...if not i will HAUNT YOU !!!! Muahahaha....Ok...dats all....tml NE day. Well, i heard we r going Padang....perhaps to see Ou De yang reherse for his concert la...oso gd, coz we first to see his real look....but then...40+ yrs old uncle....erm...ya...hahahah.....ok....we shall c tml......Looking forward to holidays n stuff. KBOX !!!! KPOOL !!!! HERE I COME !!!!!!!

Wad a f**king damn shit day is today.....lets see wad i can rant about.

Firstly, J2 farewell....i was "given e opportunity" to b e OIC for e event's duty and i think i hadn been doing a gd job. Well, its my first time being a duty's OIC so i kinda expected that. But this is e only one duty e ava teacher incharge is so kan chiong and i m totally guilty for not doing a gd job. Thankfully e actual event today was rather smooth sailing except for e GP department's performance where their mics r not on and hence cause a little of a panic backstage. Well, i m totally apologetic to that i am m totally apologetic to my other 3 ava members who hav to endure thru such an incompetent and useless leader, that is me.

Secondly, results. Got back 2 papers today. Actually shd be got back 1 paper n know e results of e other. I scored a damn lousy C grade for chemistry and i totally feel ashamed of myself. Fortunately my CA grades were able to pull my overall grade to a B of 61% but still its very lousy compare to many of my peers scoring high Bs and alots of As.....which makes me feel very ashamed of myself once again. Maths....it juz sux....i only got a C grade. 55/100, same as mid yr and its so lousy i cant possibly forgive myself for that. Yes, the maths paper is hard n many hav problem even passing, however, to me, difficult is just an excuse for my lack of practice and hardwork, i m aiming for at least a B and i m utterly disapointed wif my results today. The fact that some are still able to get A for maths make me feel very angry bout myself for my incompetency.

Thirdly, open house. Talking about it makes my blood boil. I hav a freaking b**chy VP dat is e OIC for e event's duty and yes, everyone is down for duty except me. Common sense will tell that this is definitely some personal reason and yes, i hav a big problem wif her, she hav a big problem wif me and hence i can conclude accurately that its bcoz got me no her, got her no me. Coz open hse such a big impt event that is labour intensive, shd require full force of e ava club and yet all but one was down, worse still, e one dats not down, me, is one of e exco n hence shd b down more than others, which i condemn this decision as stupid and makes AVA club a total mockary. No offence, i m juz being direct and this is true. Imagine wad others will think of e club, eh, how come not all e exco is down for duty....and of coz all e finger points towards dat b**ch. Actually i dun mind not attending open hse but e fact that i m part of e adhoc makes my presence important and accounted for. If not for e fact that i dun need to b there tml, i wouldn't even bother but just stay at home n sleep till noon. Haha. And i haven got my open hse teeshirt yet...tml gotta meet at 6.45, we shall see wad happen.

Ok lor, i guess dats all ba. Shall blog again soon since exams over and i hav more time. Things to worry bout for e near coming future:
- PW: Yes, everyone dreads it, hates it, wadeva. WR shd b kinda fix. Now its OP n I&R. So we shall see if we can survive this "ordeal". Haha.
- SVA: Deadline for submission is 16th dec. And we haven even started. As e OIC of this competition, not only muz i worry bout my own team but oso e other team led by Tony. If not i really don't know how to jiao dai. So i hope everyone in AVA giv me their full coorperation and work through this together, hopefully gd enuff to get award. I also hope this is the chance for me to show my "leadership" skills dat i m totally desperate of (yes, i m a control freak and love to lead). Now lets see whos incharge. Muahahah.
- Promos: Haven got back Econs n Phys paper. This 2, i can say i hav more confident that chem n maths. But then, i will not pai chu e possibility that i may flop for both or either of them, lets keep my fingers cross. Econs is very regurgitative, so not much of a problem. Perhaps higher marks goes to those who phrase their answer well, since content is somewhat e same thruout e corhot. Phys, i hope my tuition helps. And yes, e stakes are high.

Once again, its e weekend. Temporarily throw all worries away n enjoy life. Looking forward to Kbox sessions , bowling sessions, K pool sessions wif my friends...lots of them. Haha. And finally, a question to ask all.... ANYONE KIND ENUFF TO SPONSOR ME FOR MY KBOX KPOOL AND BOWLING ?!?!?!?! Hahahaha....cya !!!

Exams over....yeah.....its time to party !!!! Long awaited fun it is.....i cant wait to indulge myself in all the bowling , pool n kbox sessions.....provided i hav enuff money to fund myself then...

Anyway, today's econs was rather ok, compare to past yr promos, the mcq is sligtly easier...case study n DRQ....i juz do without feeling anything....to numb to tell if its difficult or easy....but anyway, i hope i can do well for promos...at least let me promote n continue taking 4 subj....

All right, tml onwards its PW PW n more PW....oso hav to b busy wif other non-academic stuff like open hse...but nvm.....looking forward to Kbox sessions...currently promise 3 grps of friends to go k it out le.....haha...wif dat...cya !!!

I totally hav no motivation to study for econs...perhaps its bcoz its e last paper and that i had had such a long break between it and the previous paper....must really force myself to buck up during the weekend...at least i did something for econs today....but i guess dats not enuff......i dunwan to b e bottom few in class or in school...dats not me...every year i've been pushing myself to maintain my spot as a top few...perhaps this is no longer possible in AJ where i think majority if not all of my classmates are smarter than me n having a far much better portfolio in their sec sch lives....perhaps i shd realize dat there r mountains higher than wad i'm used to seeing and i am just nothing in AJ....i am nothing...i m a total failure in aj...not very gd in studies, not gd physically, not gd in my social life, not a well-liked person in class, not a well-liked person in my CCA, a loner, a loser, a clown, wadeva....at least pple wif results slightly not as gd as me excel in other of these aspects.....sometimes i wonder y m i in aj when i m not welcomed at all...shd i continue to fight on n prove myself...or shd i juz fade into obscurity....promos coming to an end soon and results will b out in a couple of weeks...i forsee myself not scoring well....so wad if i work hard...the problem is i don't work smart...unlike most of my peers...they spend 3 hours and achieve lotsa stuff but i spend 30 hours n ahcieve lesser than them...juz a little small self-reflection in the mids of my promos...

Phys today rather okay.....well....i hope i dun make too much careless mistakes.....i noe how to do most of e stuff but i not very confident wif my answers....dunno...lets see how it goes......

Was rather surprise wif e weightage of topic tested....i m expecting Ideal Gas to b a major qn wif lotsa proving of epxressions n stuff la.....but no...it only come out as a small part of a thermody qn....Was expecting more circular motion qns....but only come out a little bit...haiz....i mean ideal gas circular motion n gravitation are 3very major topics.......and i was expecting potentiometer....but nono....only 1 pathetic mcq qn......instead come out kirchoff law which i screwed up......the rest was rather ok.....mcq did it quite fast.....again....i dare not say i m confident of getting gd grades for phys coz i m very careless in nature.....no garentee.....lets hope i can get an A or a B lor.....

Tml no sch.....e next paper is on mon....econs paper 1 n 2.......haiz.......while others hav alreadi finished their promos.....i m still mugging for econs over e wkend......but nvm.....as an econs rep....i muz say i luv econs....haha....(rubbish).....MCQ i nv ever score well de.....always get juz pass grades for econs mcq.....drq shd b ok.....case studies 1st time do under exam condition....hope i dun screw up......well.....as for now......i shall go slack for a few hours b4 start mugging again.....wif that.....cya !!! N to e rest, gd luck for ur promos oso.....:P

Juz came back from school.......had chem juz now.....one word to say.......



FAIL LE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Die le la.....fail liao....Chem is damn killer la....and i think i today damn suay......b4 e paper....i enter e exam venue den dat stupid door....coz i open wif too much force den i cut my index finger !!! Walau....its bleeding profusly la....and i was like...shit....bad omen....xue4 guang1 zhi1 zai1....den my finger very pain restrict my writing speed....oso affect my thinking.....den i dunno whether is i mental block or e paper is really hard....i cant do all e qns la.....MCQ alreadi got 7 qns not sure.....open ended even worse....redox dunno how to do....rxn kinetics giv me a fuck up graph ask me find order of rxn.....how to find !!! All e values dun telly de...scali e graph not drawn accurately.....fuck.....essay qns r like......die!!!! First qn of all elements dun ask ask me noble gas.....i didn study noble gas la......and the qn on noble gas is not noble at all....its wicked !!! I dunno how to do lor....e ionic equilibria qn i oso dunno how to do....thankgoodness e last organic qn is song4 fen1 de.....if not i really si bu ming mu.......die la....gonna let down myself....let down my tutor....let down everyone who hav high hopes on me......and i was sitting behind 3 pros (tw, cg n peijia) that made me more stressed.....in conclusion....i hav had a FUCK UP chem paper n i am gonna fuck up FAIL IT !!! Waaaaaaa..............

Woke up at 5.30am today to do chem timed pratice...hwa chong paper.....yes....and i m still feeling fresh now....slept at 11.50 last nite.....I think i am really crazy le....wake up so early to mug....haha....wad to do....if not i will get disturbed.....i did badly.....barely pass......i realize my redox sux like shit....bcoz cant balance 1 ionic eqn whole qn get wrong.......sad.....hwa chong paper is demanding....a few days' ago de TJ paper is difficult.....AJ 2003 seems easy as i mentioned last wk......Haiz.....my timed practice results really sux......SUX !!!! This kinda results go promos sure get retained de....but looking on e bright side.....making mistakes during timed practice is still better than making them in promos......so i got more mistakes to learn from.....haha...duh.....nvm.....shall return to my mugging !!! 3 more days....JIA YOU EVERYONE !!!!

5 Days Left !!! Omg....i think i going to kua3 le.... Today, i compiled a list of maths qns to ask my maths tutor mrs soon during tutorial....all these qns come from other school promos which i exchanged....and yes....mrs soon solved them wif ease...no need to think immediately can solve...and i was like....so impressed la....she told e class shes from NJ....wow....no wonder maths so zai...exNJ student wor....

Juz came back from phys tuition.....i think my tuition mates r really crazy la.....my life is so threatened...haha....everytime laugh like siao one....hmmm....mebbie its time i shd contribute in my part for e laughter n let them see my true colours....which is ... 100% lamer, 200% crap, 300% sadistic and 400% insane.....all these to e power of infinity = CMH....:)

Weeee.......woke up at 6am today...yes...and its SUNDAY today.....well, its e time i always wake up for school....anyway....i made it an effort to wake up early every sunday morning to do timed practice....last sunday i oso set my alarm clock at 6am n woke up promoptly to do NYJC chem promos 2004....so juz now...as i said....woke up at 6....went to bathe n brush teeth n stuff.....settle down in my aircon bedroom while e skys r still dark wif a nice little cup of hot tea....and yes....i m doing chemistry timed practice...today's paper is AJ 2003 Chem promos.....so i timed myself...2h 40min...exactly e same time i will b given during promos....coz all of us always face problems in time management when it comes to chem...so i guess this practice is rather crucial.....2h 40min is real short...no time to think somemore...see qn muz immediately write answer....teachers r crazy nowadays......anyway....timed myself....6.30am to 9.10am...n i work thru e paper in peace.....well, u guys may think i m crazy....its sunday morning...best for sleeping....but my rationale for this is.....during e day every weekend...its almost impossible i can sit down quietly n study without being disturbed...(Refer to previous 2nd post) ....hence i really needa real peace to study.....haiz.....was really happy wif my results.....65%....its a safe B grade.....i think i can do better....i hope i can do better...hopefully an A for chem....but i think its impossible considering e fact that chem teachers r crazy....there r so many exceptional cases compare to e convectional theory we study....n if all these exceptional cases come out den i really die.....coz how to prepare....anyway....i failed last wk's chem timed practice....41%....pathetic...so its a great improvement....mebbie its bcoz i m more prepared or mebbie its bcoz aj paper is easier than NY's.....dunno....anyway....tuition later....can clarify all my doubts on those qns i attempted this morning....cool.....i luv vhem....:)

1 week left....promos is coming....i m not prepared yet....well...i think i m unprepared both in terms on revision and well as mental mode....haiz.....hope i can at least score decent results....if not i really dunno wad to do....

AJ recently opened a new cafe at the ohana extension....and ever since its open, i think i hav been patronizing it quite often....the food serve is ok...but abit ex...perhaps due to high fixed cost as well trying to market itself as a "luxurious" good with Ey > 1.....wad m i toking about....but i guess the price elastic of demand for the canteen good is rather price inelastic coz whether or not, students r still gonna eat the food sold there, so an increase in price will bring about less than proportional decrease in quantity demanded, at such, the canteen vendor can charge higher price and enjoy increase in total revenue....i guess....but i digress....dats not the main point. The main point is, i kept indulging myself in the food served by the newly opened cafe....well...as all of us know, AJ hav a "gd" reputation of serving inhumane and inedible food in the canteen....and this new cafe started business selling rather nice food, compare to the rest....hence pple will want to patronize the cafe rite, despite price is abit high....but i guess still affordable...anyway.....dats a nice thing....n i hope i wont burn a hole in the pocket buying my meals from that stall everyday....haha...as for the malay noodle stall....i guess it has met shutdown condition whereby AR = Price curve is lower than AVC curve hence TR not only < TC but also < TVC...hence if shut down, loss incurred will be whole of TFC only but if continue operation, loss will be whole of TFC plus part of TVC.....nvm if u dun understand wad i m toking bout......

Dats all for today.....shall be mugging now....cya !!!

I am going mad !!!!! I CAN'T F**KING STUDY DURING WEEKENDS !!!!!! Its like, promos is round e corner n i needa some peace to study and i dun get it !!!! I want to sit down quietly finish my other school papers just like a real exam and I AM TOTALLY DISRUPTED !!!!!! I can do these every afternoon after school when i m alone and there r no such disruption but ironically, weekend, where i hav e most time to do so, seems to b the time i cannot do my studying......one min i hav my sis practicising her f**king violin in her room and the other i hav my parents vacuuming the floor wif a f**king vacuum cleaner that produces 10 times louder noise pollution than normal vacum cleaners does.....and when these happens simultaneously......I CANT STUDY !!!!!!!! So e best way is to ask me out to lib to study during weekends...yes...anyone interested ??? I really cant sit down properly n do my studying without any disruption in e weekends....yes...not when i m not alone.....damn....someone help me..........

Channel U came our sch today to firm you hua jiu shuo....some kinda teen forum and chat show where teens air their view....yup....no wonder the cleaners start cleaning up e MPH yesterday...everyone around was excited when the VP announce this news this morning during morning assembly la....and yes....e venue is at MPH.....not e hall coz its used for J2 prelims.....

Anyway....channel u crew started coming in n prepare the props since like 11+ ? And juz nice my classroom was located above e MPH where we can look down n see everything inside from e corridor....so everytime during intervals of lesson....pple from my classroom blk will go out n look down on wads happening...actually quite a big thing u noe...considering they "dare" to choose to come to AJ...which i think will collaspe any sooner or later.....

The forum is supposed to start at 2....and all of us were released at 1.30....woohooo....but too bad i got open hse meeting...so when i was proceeding across e parade sq to the main blk...lao lai called me and ask me if i m going to watch la...i say no coz i m bz....den after e short conversation i looked infront n start walking....omg....i saw quan yi feng walking towards e MPH past me...it all happens in a split second and i was too "shock" to react...mebbie is bcoz i seldom get in close proxi wif celebrities....ya....den b4 i noe it....some girls beside me snapped "hey, its quan yi feng, pai zhao (take photos)"....den some other girls take digi cam n take her photo...den she very feng du turn, pose, smile n continue walking....woah....it all happens in a split second la....den after quan yi feng i saw desmond koh....i hav to admit...he is real damn skinny la....poor desmond....n no one bothers bout him....everyone bothers bout quan yi feng....again....i will use this chance to say...POOR DESMOND !!! HAHAHA !!!! (got hidden meanings de)

Ya...so basically went for e open hse meeting...got to noe dat basically e entire proposal for e programme grp is rejected....only my part is consider acceptable...still...there must b some changes made....haiz.....sian.....went home.....lunch....did NYJ 2003 promos maths....didn score well...sian.....desperately need help for maths.....haiz.....

This morning went mugging wif jas at e lib...QY didn turn up....i will deal wif him some other time...mug the whole morning in e cafe...they actually spend $$ hire someone to walk around e cafe askin pple to order things...duh...saw Ksoh mugging alone in e cafe oso...haiz...stressed...think this morning in e lib oso very inefficient...did chemistry....but ended up discussing phys X_X....went 2nd storey to photocopy past yr promos...yes...illegal underground xchange again...now apart from my own AJ's papers, i hav HC, TJ, NYJ, NJ(Maths...as CH n PH will come soon) and now SRJ...can open tuition ctr liao...haha...pple collect diff JC's badges i collect diff JC's past yr papers....weird...hope to get SAJ, VJ and RJ paper...but no close friends studying there leh...last day of holiday...in hrs time its sch reopen again...haiz...sian....

Gd morning....ok, its like 12.41am le, so i shd blog bout yesterday's occurance. Haha. Woke up at 8...had a quick shower, breakfast and rush off for tuition at 9. Walked to e busstop outside NYP half awoke....it isnt long b4 bus 72 arrived, i looked at my watch...9.20am...tuition starts at 10....i wonder if i will reach hougang too early...but i still boarded e bus anyway. After turning its way in hougang, reached destination 5 min b4 10...woah....had tuition from 10 to 12+.....ruqing was unable to make it to xchange papers....so i still hav her TJ papers on hostage...haha....:P

Walked to hougang bus int. took 72 back home...saw Sam...woah...long time no see...he was on his way to NYP...so we chatted on e bus journey back to AMK....we talked bout how lotsa things....too sian to mention....reached home at 1.30....walked to AMK central to da bao lunch...walk one big around yet sad to find all e hawker centres closed for renovations....oh yah...saw kelvin soo outside jubilee...:)....settled for some small hawker centre...da bao lunch n went home to eat....was online not for long when my open hse department i/c msg me online.....the proposal i sent her got "some" problems...haha...so she was like telling me all e corrections needed to b done....it took us quite a while when i realized its alreadi 4+...i needed to meet ye wee for mugging session at amk lib....so i quickly left home...

Met ye wee at amk mac....we walked to amk lib n after much searching, we finally found a seat. Saw emily n nicholas at e lib oso...everyones mugging...haiz....we did maths juz now...again i muz emphasize i sux at maths...esp trigo.....so we mug until like 8+.....kept on doing maths qns.....ya....den 8+ we went KFC for dinner....i got discount coupon but he didn...haha..nvm...oh yah...oso photocopied one set of NJ maths promos....again...illegal underground papers trading....chatted for a while in KFC until 9+. Went home, bathed and again...when i got online, my open hse i/c started msging me bout e open hse proposal...online meeting for more than an hour...ended at 10+...got lotsa corrections to b made...haiz....deadline tml...but nvm...manage to finish correcting e proposal by midnite....hope its "acceptable"...planning to do MC's script tml...i mean laterwards...haha....

Now very sian...haiz....holidays ending soon......sad.....looking forwatd to end of promos....and for now....lets continue mugging :P

Haiz....study promos until sian....no motivation to spur me to study....really feel very sian..esp wif such a humid weather that makes me wanna rush into e toilet for a cold shower...haiz....anyway, haven been blogging ever since holiday start, i guess...so i shall update bout myself wif this entry.

Firstly, HW, finish all hw by monday, so make time for study....initially i tot i will study 1 subj per day every wk, but then, i had a change in plan....i decide to study more on econs n maths, esp maths coz i totally sux in maths...yes, this is not a joke, an student who got double A1 for both maths during olevel is actually struggling wif JC maths right now...and dats ME !!! Pathetic rite? I also think so. Econs...muz memorize alot of things...haiz....maths...memorize all e formulae i guess...dunno la....chem n phys i leave the revision process to during tuition....esp chem...coz at least the short 2 hours per subj is quality time where i can really sit down seriously n absorb....haiz.....but judge on e pace i m going right now....i think promos is cant make it le...haha....yesh, dats how pathetic i m....so i hope someone can come n save me....i'm doomed.

Next, open hse...yes, me n FPE self volunteer to b part of e organising committee for open hse...we represent e alpha list...haha....well, both of us agreed that its gd to hav somehting written in our testimonial so we decide to go for it...furthermore, if i dun, i cant hav anything much to b mentioned bout wif juz being a pathetic small secrectary in my cca (esp when it comes to CCA Award...i may not qualify for i dun hav much contribution)....compare to e councilors, pres n vps....nvm....so, yup.....its still ok organising e stuff...i m part of e programme committe....details of e open hse i shall not reveal....but at least things r going fine....yup...

Finally, lets tok bout yesterday....yup....yesterday was rather hectic...woke up at 7+, quickly had breakfast n rush to sch for open hse meeting. I brought along my tuition stuff coz later i got tuition...and i anticipate the meeting is gonna take a long time...but again....i miscalculated and the meeting ended 2 hours b4 my tuition...so i went AMK central to da bao lunch home to eat...bathe...change...and got ready for tuition...well...its e first time i am going tuition alone, taking bus....(coz always is my father fetch de)...so i walked to e busstop infront of NYP to take 72....waited for a long time den 72 arrive....i hesistatedly board...wondering if it will take me to my destination at hougang....well...i managed to reach there safe n sound..as i always like to say...and oso...on time....tuition ended at 4+...went to hougang central to meet ruqing to exchange past yr promos papers....yup....muggers !!! However, when i called her, shes still @ bedok bus interchange, juz released from her sch....so i was like....-_-!!!....went to hougang mall walk walk...went popular turn rounds (dou quan)....basically trying to kill time....walked till 4.30...i went down n buy shi lin fried chicken...long queue...incompetent management...nvm.....despite e long queue dat waste me alot of time....ruqing still hav not arrived....so meaning i hav to wait even longer...finally she arrived...we exchange past yr phys n maths promos paper. Yup, underground illegal trading activity...haha....promised to return her e papers this fri..where i got another session of phys tuition.....sian.....went home wif my shi lin fried chicken chilled...not hot anymore...but still edible.....sat infront of my study table n start mugging maths....sian...again....i cant do maths....pathetic.....

Still haven photocopy the TJ papers ruqing gav me....deadline- friday......i will see wad i can do.....in the meantime....i hav to complete e open hse proposal for my section by friday.....so wif dat...cya !!!

Uuuuuu.....today is e last day of term 3 !!! Cheersz !!!! Haha....yeah rite....anyway...e whole day juz feel very slack la...so wad if its e last day of term 3....this marks e start of e mugging season for promos is here.....sob sob...anyway......kuah wasnt here today...haha...so mdm woon decide to take that period hence we dun hav any econs remedial after sch....cool....school ends at 2.15....it was drizzling la...i made my way to AMK to mug wif ye wee, my pri sch classmate whom i've not seen for 5 yrs but whom i've kept in contact wif via e msn....yup....so i made my way to e lib promptly and i saw a familiar guy standing outside e lib....i was wondering if he is ye wee...he also wondered if i'm cmh...so i say to myself...better play safe...dun acknowledge or else if recognize wrong person very malu...haha....so i walked in...gav him a call...."hello...r u e one standing outside?" "Yes" he replied....ok....so its really him....haha...cant recognize him after 5 yrs la....dats e problem....anyway...we roam e lib to find for seats but unfortunately its over packed...went over to KFC...same situation...in e end we settled at Mac...had lunch there....had some gd chat...and of coz, e main objective....SCHOOLWORK !!!! Haha.....2 muggers indeed.... we agreed to xchange promos papers, some notes n stuff....yup....some of u guys may know i m having some secret underground exchange going on where i go on xchanging past yr promos wif my friends from other sch...hehe....anyway....we mug till like 7+ where i think i shd go home....reached home only to find out that my bag n my chem file stinks....yucks....all thanks to macdonalds....i decide to wash my sch bag tml...furthermore its e holiday week hence i dun think i needa use it urgently....as for my file...i still hav no idea how to get rid of that smell....haiz....perhaps tml i will seek e help of "green tea leaves" coz they r really gd smell remover....anyway....its sept holiday....everyone mug hard...study hard....JIAYOU !!!!

Yoz yoz....juz came back from visiting...yes...its 31st aug....teachers day eve...and of coz most of us hav gone visiting our alma matar n stuff...yup....Went to school this morning as usual...reach at 6+....soon all e other zhssrians stream in and we hav another typical morning gathering in aj outside dance studio....bell ring....proceed on to parade sq....it was e first time we hav flag raising without e principal....ya....so after flag raising its ACES day exercise....line dance....boring....one word to describe e scene -- CHAOS...everyone basically bochap e person giving instructions la...dat poor guy oso quite helpless....everyone juz gather into grps n start chattering....den came e PE teachers.....takin over...den still there is still lotsa chaos but things get slightly better....so for ACES day....i tell u....no one is dancing la....only e teachers n e dancers zi-high-ing la...but oso feel quite pitiful for them......who cares

Den we proceed to e hall for concert....BORING !!!! Since when is AJ concert ever interesting....but at least we manage to enjoy the newly installed aircon for the first time...which is something gd worth mentioning. After e concert i went to e bkshop to print AJ promos for Simin & QY...yes....we r exchanging papers...see...i m such a full time mugger...haha. Anyway....stupid shaun left e grp first....tsk tsk....met e other zhonghuarians at e busstop...i think some 20+ of us....AVA pple den called...askin where i am coz they r celebrating teachers day for e teachers in e canteen....u noe wad...i heck care them...coz i m alreadi on e bus....haha took e same bus 853 to S'goon and walk back to ZHSS passing by NYJC.....its such a big grp la...quite grand rite....

Reached ZHSS....needa sign in at e security....stupid procedure...went up to e hall....NY pple r alreadi there....so gd rite....dats e advantage of studying near ZHSS...nvm....so went around saying hi...meet old friends....old classmates....meet teachers (while e concert is still going on)....quite nice....luv zhss to bits....all e old friends...some bcame totally different from wad i used to know....some still e same....as crazy as b4....then all 4E2 pple gathered at e canteen after e concert....yup....qinqi n jes baked 2 cakes for angster n wongster.....so nice rite....den all of us sing "happy bday song"....i mean "happy teachers' day song"....quite nice la...e whole class is still so bonded.....everyone was also so shock at how minyi slimed down so much.....Oh yah...we oso took a class photo....i think most of us r present ba...can basically name those absentee but nvm....nice.....den afterthat everyone juz sat around n crap....crap until 1+ when tanah chase us off coz e gate is closing (dun get e idea wrong, not ghost gate).

Went to J8 wif e rest for 4e2 lunch....basically that place is so damn bloody crowded we cant find a suitable eatery that can accomodate so many of us....so after stoning there for like half an hour...we decided to split up....me, shaun, yiqin n e rest went to delifrance, some went cartel...some went KFC.....so after lunch we met again....some suggest we shd go watch movie...some want shopping....me (being anti-social...haha) and shaun n yiqin decide to go home...so we took MRT home...waving gd bye to e rest....so nice....luv zhss...luv 4e2...luv everyone....e 4 yrs of wonderful memories....definitely better than AJ....esp in terms of cca....haha....no hidden meanings :P

Ok la....stop crapping le....tonight 8pm got tuition....sian.....haven finish tuition hw....better go n do now....haha....hope there will b another gathering again....oso lookin forward to 4e2 chalet...its gonna b very very fun :D !!!

Today's maths test juz sux....they gav us 2002 promos...damn it !!!! I downloaded it from IVLE like last weekend n i was hesistating if i shd try it to prepare myself for e test. And e stupid me decide not to coz i simply hav no time.......haiz.....shd hav tried e 2002 promos....den today's test sure score de....anyway.....i think i am gonna fail maths promos.....even wif e help of e cheat sheet....i cant do e qns.....all qns either left half done or left undone.....f**k !!! 2.5 hours in e damn bloody cold LT draining off all my brainjuice n yet i can barely pass.....i m a failure...loser....haiz...:(

Preparing "cheat sheet" for this mon's maths test...yes...we r allow to prepare a cheat sheet b4 hand for e test, which is a full paper....but the thing is, e cheat sheet muz only b one A4 size paper where u can write anything on it....1 A4 size paper both sides....at first i tot its more than enuff....now....after preparing halfway....i think its too little to fill in all e formulae n stuff.....omg...i m gonna fail my maths test...sigh....someone help me !!!

For the first time in my entire life....i was "late" this morning. It all happens like this....6.30am...i reached AJ as usual....e same study bench outside dance room....e same few zhonghuarians come n join in and we hav our daily morning get-together....den is like tok n tok n tok n tok....everyone was like so bonded, so happy together n stuff...i think got shaun, zara, avril, me, joyce, n a few more...den suddenly i feel like behind me no body liao....coz normally 1st bell ring everyone of us will proceed to e parade sq...then is like this morning we didn seem to hear the bell....its either we r too involved in our conversation or wad but for my part, i seriously didn hear any bell....den when i see behind me left a few pple....i sense somehting was wrong...i looked at my watch...OH NO !!! 7.29AM !!! 1 min b4 flag raising...den is like e few of us, together wif other pple (whom i think oso unaware of e time) chiong to e parade sq...but too late....e national anthem sounded....so hav to embarassingly sing e national anthem at e lockers area wif e rest...facing e J2 form teachers....walau....so malu...den after everything we very rushly get to our classes.....first thing i saw....mdm woon wif her angry stare at me...haha...den i guiltily got into e line...den my classmates start askin me if i were late...i told them i didn hear any bell....ya...dats e whole morning incident....and worse still...lim kim thye brought this incident up during mass civics today...walau...i was like...omg...i bcam a qian gu zui ren alreadi....hope mdm woon understands n dun mark me late...if not my 11 yrs of perfect record will b ruined wif one black mark...haha...anyway...today's chem lesson sux....dun wish to mention much bout it...stupid kuah...cant tahan us look for higher authority to deal wif us...gd la....n we caught her smiling when her higher authority came in n scold us...tmd....grrrrr !!!!! So dats all for today....maths test this mon...muz prepare !!! Wif dat, Cya !!!

CMH gav black face to his fellow CCA mates yesterday (dat wasnt e first time)....how bad of him right....he is obviously showing attitude....haiz....wad to do....CMH bu shuang the top 2 personals wad.....he is juz doing wad he is supposed to do....furthermore that long hair zha bor dat looks like sudako aka zhen zi oso black face CMH all e time....so she do chu yi CMH do shi wu lor....haha....shd CMH go n apologize to them ??? Well, to an extent he did....CMH had apologized to e other cca mates including his PM....but dat 2....dun wish to see them, will nv see them...haha....so they dun deserve CMH's apology ba....furthermore why shd CMH swallow his ego n pride to apologize to someone dat shd instead apologize to him....rite ? Haha...CMH juz demands for the respect n attention he deserve to receive...dats all...izzit too much for him ??? Worse still...CMH was juz standing next to his pres today outside e LT and yet he pretend not to see him....CMH very wad rite ? Yalor....but wad for acknowlegde his presence when he didn acknowledge CMH's....haiz....now CMH seems to b e villian....but if u guys put urselves in CMH's shoes....u guys will oso feel dat wad he did is justified....haiz.....wad to do....CMH is sad :(
CMH wanna sing a song to his pres, dat song dictates everything he wanna say...including e hidden meaning, dat song is Pin Guang's "Hou Lai De Wo Men"....yup....

Woah....juz finish tuition hw...lotsa TYS....yes....starting to get e hang of it, juz like in sec sch, kept on practising TYS. Anyway....i think i muz start inculcating in myself passion for the subjects i'm taking. I mean i dun take e subjetcs for e sake of taking....its bcoz i'm interested in it hence i want to do well in them...so in order to do well in these subjects, i muz hav passion to serve as e driving force to do well....esp chemistry...muz turn phobia to passion....yes...muz start psychoing myself...i luv chem...i luv chem...yes i luv chem, but i hate e teacher...hehe...
Hav been sick for e whole week...now my sore throat n running nose has turn to cough....hai...dunno when this will end....i think i spreaded my illness to some of my classmates....saw them blowing nose oso in class recently....SORRY !!! REALLY SORRY !!! I didn mean it...
Read thru some previous entries of my blog. Discovered that time past so fast...i remembered i started blogging since Dec 2003...and now its alreadi mid of 2005...haiz....and e thing is, when i read thru all e previous posts, i juz recall all e wonderful memories of e past...esp in zhss....and oso...all the events i blogged about seems to hav juz happened yesterday....haiz....looking forward to 31st aug...yes...visiting zhss for sure...all my teachers...all my friends....omg...i juz cant wait...oso looking forward to ZHSS 94th anniversary...if i'm not wrong its in mid sept...though near promos but i think i will still go back....haiz...once a zhonghuarian, always a zhonghuarian rite ?
This weekend is gonna b another busy one....muz chiong EoM, Maths Transformation Tutorial, TJ Summary, wad else....Econs Essay....etc....busy busy....well, at least i'm kept occupied....coz idle hands r the devils' workshop. With that, cya !!!

Busy busy....very busy...haha...promos coming...spa coming...pw deadlines coming....wooo....i wonder if i'm gonna survive it. Haha....but e gd thing is....i free myself of all cca responsibilities for e moment n hence can go home early...haha....lets make a bet...they r not gonna see my blog unless they r so smart to b able to detect....lets bet that i will NOT be down for teachers' day celebration duty.....who wants to bet....place ur bets plz.... Hahaha....coz i noe my VP very well....if shes gonna hav a say in whos doing duty, i will not b in....who cares anyway...haha....so lets note down this day, this date, this time i made this "bet"....lets see if its gonna come true....i m pretty confident :)

It doesn't feel nice to b sick...trust me....i shd've stayed at home n rest today....i mean i've got mc but i choose to go to sch....basically e shortest day of e week bcame e worst day of e week....i m pathetically blowing my nose every minute from sch start to sch end....wads more...theres break down in communication....coz i cant talk...haiz...Mdm woon was not able to attend class today...so we hav 2 free periods....but of coz we were assigned hw....but i m in too much agony to complete it...basically feel like fainting....head very pain....feverish....dats y e whole day i m very lethargic....haiz....reached home at 2pm....cant find any food to eat....so decide not to eat....i hav no appetite anyway....hadn been eating anything since i woke up....head too pain liao decide go take a nap....yup....woke up at 4+....copy some hw....complete chem tutorial 17....and yes...its now 8pm...ok...its time to take medicine...cya !!! Tml investiture...dunno if i want to stay back n watch....perhaps can ask mdm woon for early dismissal tml....haiz....i m so damn sick.....

Fell sick again....yes....all those friends dat r very close to me will noe dat i kana throat inflamation again....yes....sore throat......SHI SHENG LE !!!! Bummer.....all my chem teacher's fault....she herself got sore throat...den during tutorial on fri she explain qns to me until so close....now i kana her virus....slap her arh....anyway....screwed up econs test today....haiz....i was like blowing my nose wif limited tissue paper in dat cold LT where e bloody aircon kept blowing at me....aggrevate my conditions....haiz.....i hate to fall sick....even if i were to fall sick....i rather it b fever n no sore throat....haiz....tml got MC....but i think i will still b going to sch.....coz short day, i dun mind....mebbie wed pon investiture ba...coz investiture oso nothin to see....scali see pple i dun like still make me even more sick....haha....cya !!!

FADING INTO OBSCURITY...

I have thought it rather thoroughly these few weeks....i think that its useless for me to rebel or fight back or wadsoeva....since i m born to b a nobody, i shall continue to b a nobody....i am destinated not to make it big....not in school...not in my cca....i think i shd b happy enuff to hav at least a small post in EXCO.....i remembered in my sec sch when i almost got to b video head in MC.....at least i tot i can make it...but alas...i m banished back to become a commoner....in JC...i tot i stand high chance in bcoming the pres or VP...but nv had i expected that e teacher decide to giv a twist n let "less deserving" pple take e role...juz bcoz they want them to b more involved in cca....yes, now they r more involved...i dun see my need anymore in e club...i shd juz b my commoner that i used to b.....

Of all periods of e whole yr i am born to b a Leo....Leos are suppose to b gd leaders, they enjoy attention n power...but i dun hav any....i am juz a typical leo that wants to hav some power, some say...but since i m not given e chance to hav any, i think i shd juz resort to my fate....it all boils down to e word "jealousy"...yes, i admit i am jealous, i am jealous at others' achievements, their high rank n position, the power n command they hav, their gd results...everytime i try to convince myself that i m juz jealous and i shd juz get away wif it....but i juz fail over n over again....how i wish there arent any jealousy in this world, they at least i wont feel so upset, so pissed off....

My CCA teacher once say that he hopes all e EXCO will get e CCA award at e end of next yr....but criteria being, each of us must organise an event....my pres n vp has alreadi organised investiture, my PM wants to organise AVA camp next yr....they want to let me organise some video workshop or stuff...but thinking of it, i think i would decline e offer...yes, i'm stupid, but once i feel like putting everything down, i will put everything down...i hope to feel that i will b happy enuff to b amongst e audience n clap n applause for e other 3 of my exco when they receive their cca award next yr....i want to hav it, but on the other hand, i feel that i m not deserving enuff....i m trying hard to convince myself that its juz an award, no big deal...but again, as a typical leo i am, its fame n recognition that i desire....yet i feel i shd juz let it brush pass....i m so confused...

A few days ago...i m still full of passion to make it big...but few days later today...i think that i shd juz b contended wif wad i hav now. Me n FPE went to look for wendy koh, alpha list teacher incharge, to show our great interest in organising open hse...reason....i want to hav somehting nice to b written in my testimonial...furthermore, we alpha list students r suppose to organise something....but she refered us to Lim Kim Thye, council teacher incharge....on that thought, i was like...perhaps i shd juz giv up....coz this will mean councilors will b incharge instead....i dunno yet...perhaps i may approach him on mon (i gav e excuse not to look for him today bcoz i haven cut my hair)...coz gd leaders take initiative....and i want to b e one taking initiative, come forward n lend my service...i dunno...perhaps i am not fit to do so...different thoughts r fighting inside me...if i successfully get to organise open hse...then i hav high chance of getting cca award...but on e other hand...it seems mission possible, and i am always not fated wif cca awards...

At the end of e day, i want to ask myself, wad hav i done for e past 2 yrs in college...e answer may be "yes, i played an active role of a student, i organise this this that that, and for my cca, i do this this that that..." or e answer may be "nothing much, i spend my 2 yrs without any remarkable acheievements..." I hope its not e latter. But again, since when am i fit enuff to hav e first answer. I am very self-doubtful...i am skeptical bout my own capabilities....i dunno if i m able to do it...but for sure one thing...i want to do it...i think i m a failure....after weeks of "rebeling" against my pres n vp, i think its rather childish...i mean, come on, cmh, get a life, get on wif life, stop being e childish immature cmh u used to b....but e problem is...i m that immature childish cmh...if not i will not b called cmh...haha....I may not b able to outshine e rest in terms of leadership, fame, cca achievements, etc...but i hope i can at least shine a little wif my academic...in e end of e day...its still grades that plays a more significant role....i will try to continue convincing myself that recognition in terms of cca, leadership, wadsoeva r not impt to ME....I am a failure....I am fading into obscurity....but then....its my decision.....i hav no one to blame....

PS: hope i wont get spammed after this entry....