I totally hav no motivation to study for econs...perhaps its bcoz its e last paper and that i had had such a long break between it and the previous paper....must really force myself to buck up during the weekend...at least i did something for econs today....but i guess dats not enuff......i dunwan to b e bottom few in class or in school...dats not me...every year i've been pushing myself to maintain my spot as a top few...perhaps this is no longer possible in AJ where i think majority if not all of my classmates are smarter than me n having a far much better portfolio in their sec sch lives....perhaps i shd realize dat there r mountains higher than wad i'm used to seeing and i am just nothing in AJ....i am nothing...i m a total failure in aj...not very gd in studies, not gd physically, not gd in my social life, not a well-liked person in class, not a well-liked person in my CCA, a loner, a loser, a clown, wadeva....at least pple wif results slightly not as gd as me excel in other of these aspects.....sometimes i wonder y m i in aj when i m not welcomed at all...shd i continue to fight on n prove myself...or shd i juz fade into obscurity....promos coming to an end soon and results will b out in a couple of weeks...i forsee myself not scoring well....so wad if i work hard...the problem is i don't work smart...unlike most of my peers...they spend 3 hours and achieve lotsa stuff but i spend 30 hours n ahcieve lesser than them...juz a little small self-reflection in the mids of my promos...