Its finally a break from the hectic schedule of Olevels examination, or should I call it, bonus time to study for the remaining papers. 4 more papers to go (if Paper 1 n 2 r considered as 1 paper). 4 more and i am done wif it. Well, as the days progress, i find it harder to concentrate when i study for any papers. There seems to be a very very WRONG thought telling me that "hey, why study so hard. Olevels r suppose to be easy, juz giv it ur 80% and u will be fine". This thought has been pestering me for a very long time. However, if you know me well, i am someone who will put in 120% of hardwork in anything i do. Well, although my results dont show, i value the importance of the process of hardwork and not the fruit of labour. Well, seems noble of me to say that but thats what i personally believed. Imagine living life meaninglessly and aimlessly, everyday eat and sleep and do nothing, its terrible. At least you have something to study and do to keep you occupied, you may find it tiring, but at least you live your life with an aim or goal in mind. I often feel guity of myself when i take a nap in between the process of studying or sleep early in the night. I somehow develop a sense of guilt that i am not spending enough time on my studies and i ought to be more hardworking. This inevitable sense of guilt has revealed my incapability of putting loads down temporary and it is definitely detrimental to my psychological well-being. I am soooo miserable. Well, I am born a pessimistic, always looking at the bad sides of things. Although i may seems "optimistic" or "noisy" or "very out spoken" or "cheerful always wearing a smile" or wadever guy infront of u guys, I am actually a very pessimistic guy who shuns from the outer world when i am alone. I dunno which is my true self and which personalitiy is actually a mask i am wearing. Thats confusing. Perhaps i have what its called a dual personality.Guess me trying to act normal may seem to be perceiving and deceiving myself as well as the others. Well, i am a weird guy indeed.