It is CNY eve but i am feeling damn depressed. This is because another door has been shut infront of my face. Earlier on last year, i was thinking of applying for the MOE teaching award should my A lvl results be satisfyingly good. Just moments ago, i was browsing through the MOE website when I saw this notice "MOE Teaching Award Application Open". As such, i clicked it only to be welcomed by a words document file of the 10+ pages long application booklet. Applicants should fill in the booklet and send it to MOE by a certain date. Hence, i browsed through the booklet only to realize it is almost impossible for me to stand a chance. Firstly, CCA record. Applicants are required to send in any CCA record certificates to prove good CCA record. However, although i've gotten some CCA mentionable low-end award or something in JC, i've yet to collect the stupid cert from the HOD Of CCA (u all shd noe who) in oct 2006 coz i ponned the last PE session (the whole day) when they gave away the cert. And up till now, i guess the cert has been shredded to strips for being unclaimed (by me). This means i am less qualified to be short listed by that award. Secondly, it would be advantageous for applicants who have prior job experience as relief teacher. While i hav applied for relief teaching, i remained unhired till now even though i've mass emailed alot of schools. Even my sec sch did not hire me even though i made a personal trip down to apply. This means that i have zero job experience for teaching and hence stand even lower chance to get that moe teaching award. As for now, i think based on my results alone is totally useless because one, my results are not confirmed to be good, second, even if my results are good, i have almost zero non-academic backups to make me stand out of the many applicants. This means that the door to apply for MOE Teaching Award has been shut directly infront of my face and hence i am indeed very very depressed because i am rather sure teaching is a career for me. You guys out there who are reading this, what do you think i should do? Go jump off the building and end my miserable life? Or follow the trend and jump MRT track...