I'm really feeling very stressed....i dunno why....homework seems to be pileing day by day and i start to wonder if i have the stamina to clear them weekly until the A levels. I dunno...alot of things r happening....and before i know or before i try to anticipate them, they flew by just a quick as anything one can imagine. I dunno why i am living my life liddat...its a misery. There were times i want to put all these down...but i cant bear to...and this is e reason perhaps i shd use to encourage myself to continue fighting, that is, i have decent results in class which not all people hav, i shd feel priviledge and hence there shdn b any reason why i m putting them down. However, it is these "decent" results i got that makes me want to get even more "decent" results. Well, people who know me will know i am a perfectionist. Some say horoscope is bluff but at least i believe how it depicts my character as a leo. It is really true. I cant stand being in second place, i want to be first. I want to achieve the best of all, just like the lion in the jungle, the king of the jungle. Putting this in my study context, i cant stand not doing well. Also, i keep aiming to do very well, sometimes way beyond my limitations and capabilities. I dunno why but there is just this burning sensation in me that keeps on tell me that my current decent grades are not good enough and i should go for better grades, perhaps e best ? Take the recent phys wave test for example. According to my term 1 result slip, i got 95% which is 24/25. Its very good i muz admit....infact one of e bests...however, seeing the highest in college is 100% full marks, i start to blame myself why i m unable to achieve that...because of that single qn on angle of polarization which i feel i am still right for that option of answer i choose. But then, perhaps this is my personal problem. This sense of not being able to attain self satisfaction. It is just like water, it can float a boat so can it sink a boat. It can serve as a fuel to push me to do my very best for my prelims n Alevels but it can also destroy me by instilling demoralization within me. How the outcome will be will depend on how i maniplulate it. And perhaps thats the reason i am feeling so stressed. Perhaps the evidences of self destruction have already surfaced and i should take note before things evolve into an uncontrollable state. Well, life goes on....i wonder if i can cope, but one thing for sure....i am feeling real stressed....i want to take a good break to refresh myself...but the current situation forbade me to.....:(

PS: thanks matt, sc n ks for the kbox session today...really enjoy it....thanks lots :)